Resources for Authentic Relating
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Videos
Articles
What is Authenticity?
by Sara Ness
What does it mean to be authentic? Is authenticity total honesty in all your words and actions? Is it following your impulses, your emotions, or your beliefs? Is it integrity? Truth? Is it a popular word that writers use to get more hits on Google?
I’ve spent the past seven years teaching authentic connection. I’ve worked with thousands of students across multiple countries, and one constant issue participants run into is...
Consensual Nasty Communication
by Sara Ness
In the Authentic Relating community I emotionally grew up in, there were Good kinds of communication and Bad ones. Good communication was consensually negotiated, kind, curious, and slow. Bad communication was whatever our parents had done: usually fast, intense, and scary. Good communication was Safe; bad communication was Violent...
Creating Events That People Love
by Sara Ness
The best event I ever ran was called The Living Room.
The goal of the event was to connect the best minds working at the intersection of Authentic Relating and the outside world. The people on the front lines, applying our practices to business, sex work, consulting, rationality, community, graduate education, and more. I wanted them to share best practices, to get inspired by each other, and to connect.
But this was a first-time conference...
Manuals
The Authentic Relating Games Manual
Playful exercises for awareness & connection. The Games Manual contains over 200 authentic relating games and variations that can help you lead groups with grace.
$25.00 USD
The ADC Manual
Accompanying text for the Art of Difficult Conversations course. This 70-page e-book helps you navigate conflict with anyone in your life. Inside, you’ll find meticulously researched interventions, practices to try, stories, and lots of memes.
$20.00 USD
AR Games for Deeper Dating
Games to play with your date, your partner, your lover, or your ball-and-chain.
Free
Authentic Relating Aftercare
What are the core principles of AR, or the aftercare you need to integrate your experience? We've got it right here — a guide on integration and deeper exploration into authenticity everyday.
Free
Relationship Survival Guide
Includes 7+ pages of great questions and games for your relationship, such as "The Google Game", "Empathy", "Touching Desire", and "If you really knew me, you would know..."
$10.00 USD
Onwards to Utopia: How to Create Intentional Living Communities
This eBook takes you on a journey across the country and across systems of thought, looking for the answers to how lasting, fulfilling community can be built.
$18.00 USD
The Art of Getting Someone’s World
We often think that we can only see from our own point of view. Practices like Circling make it possible to intuitively GET what someone else's world is like – and to be transformed by that knowledge.
$12.00 USD
Conflict Survival Guide
Don’t let conflict catch you off guard. Whether it’s a tense moment with a loved one, a tricky team meeting, or navigating a boundary with a friend, having the right tools can make all the difference. It’s time to stop dreading difficult conversations — and start mastering them today.
Free
Power Mapping Guide
Unlock the invisible dynamics of power in your relationships. With practical exercises and reflective questions, this guide gives you the tools to navigate power dynamics with confidence and insight.
Free
Fight Lab Playbook
Stop avoiding conflict — start using it. The Fight Lab Playbook offers practical exercises and reflective prompts to help you turn tension into growth. Join one of our free labs to practice real-life conflicts before they happen, rework past ones, and build skills to stay grounded in the heat of the moment. This brave, trauma-informed space equips you to fight better, together — at home, at work, and beyond.
Free
Social Technology for the Workplace
This mini-manual covers how to build trust, psychological safety, and a shared sense of purpose – without sacrificing your mission.
$3.00 USD
Online Connection Games Manual
Includes 14 Authentic Relating Games specifically re-written for an online format, including instructions on what to put in chat and how to divide up breakout rooms. It also includes a bonus guide to technology and troubleshooting on Zoom.
$10.00 USD
Creating Authentic Community Manual
This guide will take you through the preparation and planning to the creation and facilitation of events to find and create community.
$15.00 USD
Facilitating Authentic Connection
Leaders often face the challenge of enhancing connection and engagement within their teams. This guide captures best practices for fostering deeper and more meaningful connections in meeting environments.
